Love starts at the fifth tick of the second hand, notice it after five days, develops in five months and expires in five years. tolerable number of strikes.., five. Tolerable number of mistakes.., five it's THE RULE OF FIFTHS.

The Stranger OVER a Bottle



She’s a demure girl. She’s gentle and soft. She can’t even utter harsh words. She’s young. She’s beautiful as what she thinks. She’s intelligent as she appears to be. She’s curvaceous as her physical shape projects. She’s charming and cute as her girl friends say. She is but really simple, simplicity that almost defy her beauty, simplicity that almost decay her elegance.She's dark but pale. she's dark and spotted. she's seductive. she's dark that makes her sexy. she's dark that makes her insecure. her girl friends think she got everything except a beautiful skin.

Her story doesn’t seem to touch others. She seem very happy outside but others don't know how miserable she is inside. Goods and evils of the world are fighting in her heart. Those thoughts are locked up in her close mind and weak in. Her appearance is a contradictory of what she is. they don't know how she suffer every time she hear the appraisals of her girl friends. She should be thankful but she's doing the opposite. she doesn't know why she feels that way. It's maybe because her girl friends could appreciate her, the entire her, but the one she love the most does not. the one whom she offered her love doesn't know how to appreciate beauty in different angles and senses.


her friends are her strenght, a strenght almost as equal as what she get from her family, supportive and thoughtful. but her friends seem to be like her family then. they don't seem to understand her. she seem to be unreachable.everybody's close to her but everybody seem to be so far. she seem to be locked up in an invisible box that no one ever dare to unlock and save her from loneliness. not until she came to know a stranger.

She met a tall, slender, lonely stranger.And she came to know him better over a bottle of Generoso.
He's kind. he's cute. he's kind and he's kind.
He came across her life in the midst of he lonesomeness, amidst her heartaches. He was there before her lovetale started and he became the witness when they broke up. he was there, still there.

He's a stranger she came to know so well as days of the semester passed, getting to know each other over a bottle of Generoso. A stranger is no more a stranger. She explored the stranger's thoughts and insights, heart and longing over a bottle of Generoso. Masks of pretensions were stripped away and true identity was revealed over a bottle of Generoso. She recognize a friend and a true lover over a bottle of Generoso.
Everything started or will she say everything ended over a bottle of Generoso.

the moment has turned the girl into a true woman. the moment has transformed her into a new person. she didn't become bad. she just peeled off her not being "her". It was a start of a true her. but also a start of her true heartaches.

They talked over a bottle of alchohol. the stranger cracked some jokes and she laughed her heart out. she laughed and laughed. They got drunk. HE kissed HER. SHE kissed HIM.they KISSED. Their lips touched each other's and ignited. the moment was heated up.. They again requested for another bottle of Generoso. everything was just a rewind. they talked, they laughed, and they kissed. They kissed again and again, a kiss she can never forget, a kiss that haunts her everytime she remembers the moment, A KISS SHE FIRST HAD, a kiss she was thankful for.
She's greatful to know a man through a stranger over a bottle of alchohol. a stranger who will bring an endless smile to her, having in mind her UNforgettable kiss.


TALE UNTOLD...


It was summer 2007 when I came to know better this lovely person.
He's nice and handsome... but for others,
He's pretty...


I first saw him 2nd sem SY2006-2007. I was struck by his deep brownish black eyes. In my sight they were sparkling.They were as graceful as the way he danced. They were lovely. By then I've got a crush on him. The seed of admiration had been sought in the soil of my wounded HEART. He's my Mr.MOVER.My mover I never expected to be with...

It was summer...It started.

It was summer when I busted my first official suitor. By that time too, my long-time agony of loving a person who doesn't even care was about to end... my love to Mr."musician" . But the hurt still lingers.. after summer...


It was summer when I thought tears won't moisten my cheeks anymore, but I was definitely WRONG...that was the beginning of another story of grief.
1st sem Sy07-08, MR. mover came really...really close to me.., after our "getting-to-know-summer ". I look at him... and I don't believe that someone would look... stare at him the way I do.
I wasn't in love yet... It's the feeling of security every time he's with me.. A feeling I could say, ONLY HIM could make me feel. Towards the end of the semester, I then realized I fall unexpectedly.Another tale came gradually. I chose to ignore it.. I choose to believe it's a lie... I choose to believe what I believe is true... But scenes flashed before my very eyes...

Then came a realization after the previous realization... my Mr. MOVER is unknown ... Unknown, unknown.. unknown..

It was summer when their affair sprouted from a seed of friendship... my Mr.mover and Mr. nice guy...

I could see his acts.. his looks... very deceiving... very ambiguous...
for how many months.. I could interpret then what those mean..
I see myself trapped in a very complicated chain of hopeless romanticism. a chain I never imagined I'll be a part of...
I have decided to discontinue the foolishness of my naive blood-pumping HEART...


a year had passed.. we're on our 3rd year now... I guess every thing's OK ... but I was WRONG . . .

again.....

It was summer 2008 when I met MR. HYMN...

He was nice... very loving and thoughtful... he became my first REAL-LIFE LOVE TALE
. . . but every thing was ruined... I don't know.. there was a tragic change
he. . . I... went very... very.. very busy... no time... full of space...
He's so close... but seemed to be a miles away...
..We only reached our first monthsary... 5 days later, he broke up with me..
..I wish to hold him back.. but my conviction told me...
"let him go...He doesn't deserve you...you'll find someone better"
...
during the time Mr.HYMN
was courting me... I felt something strange with my Mr.mover,..
He became sooooo sweet to me... sooooo thoughtful than ever before... to the extent that I thought he was courting me too... but that time, I've really decided to forget my feelings for him... my wasted effort of loving someone who loves somebody else... but I still am thankful... because I KNOW... he Cannot find on me What he had found on Mr. Nice guy.

The chain of Hopeless romanticism was brought out to life again when revelations of shocking stories was slapped before my cheeks...
I refused to believe .... but evidences were really obvious... seeing these evident evidences, willingly, I stepped out of the chain. And never wished to be part of it AGAIN...

Mr.mover has this friend... a gentleman of talents.. he's
Mr. color
he nice and sweet... he's really huggable..
seeing Mr. nice guy made his heart beat ever different than before...
I don't know.. I thought things like those only happen in movies and films.. but
no!!
they exist...

I have this friend.. A very pretty.. inside out... considerable true and ever NOT Plastic...
.. SHE is ms.MAGNET...
she's been the witness of my ups and downs...
magnet is different... I never had a friend as true as her...
she's my home... sometimes.. my strength..












to be continued...c",)




Unexpected FALL


He's close...
Very near that i could almost touch his nose... Thier nose..
i could never imagine i'm hanging out with these beautiful people...inside out
I get used to it.. the laughters they brought to my life... the confusion i wish i won't figure out.
i'll miss him.. I'll miss them...
too much for roaming around the bush.. my point is... behind all those friendly outs, those friendly conversation, those friendly hugs... i hve malice on my mind...
I faLL... and Im falling...

is it wrong to fall in love in several... ???
i get confused.. i'm rotting inside... i'm dying...

A Step Closer To The Edge


Am I prepared enough? When shall I be prepared?
My stay in college is getting shorter and shorter every passing day, which implies I'm learning more and more but what I feel is otherwise.
I envision myself in the future having at hand these experiences and "learnings" I've gained for 2 years in kindergarten, 6 years in elementary, 4 years in high school and 2 and a half years in college.I still can't say I'm ready to face the outside world, the world out of school.
I experienced stepping on the next stage of life before, when I enrolled and study for college but this anxiety I feel inside is entirely different. The "being uncomfortable" thought that almost haunt me every time I find myself alone is not like thinking of myself to be away from my family, but LOSING THEM., not just merely asking what course will i take up but HAVING A DECISION WHAT WILL I DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE., WHAT WILL I BECOME?
For how many years i stayed at school, I've come to ask, "HOW FAR HAVE I GONE?...and an answer sprung up my head with a company of realization..."I'VE GONE TOO NEAR".
a very long journey but only I HAVE GONE TOO NEAR from the starting point.
I'm getting nervous... to the extent that my tears would run down my cheeks and moisten my lips. I'm starting to think that I should have started doing my best from the time I enter college. I'm experiencing the feeling of regret, the feeling of dissatisfaction of what I have done with my life. I guess these thoughts are just but reminders for me that life is short and unpredictable, that life wants to lived in the full extent, that I should not wase everysingle of my life, that I should not waste every decision I may make...
A light of HOPE in disguise of miserable and anxios thoughts.. I then realized that I should be thankful that I have come to think of these though not early, at NOT TOO LATE ... I still have 2 YEARS AND A HALF TO PROVE MYSELF., Enough time to take another step, a step closer to my dream, to my aspirations., A step closer to the edge...

torn apart...happily


I can't understand the way i feel...
same is true with the thing that i could never understand the he felt...
i just cant reach his ways,,, I just can't explain how things happened..
what's wrong with me then??
or is it what's wrong with him??
...
the relationship started Oct11 2008... and it ended Nov162008... it's really a short time relationship... but honestly, I have never viewed myself being with him as my partner.....
I never expected we'd last for a month.. All i think is we'll be ending it 2 weeks...
hahahaha.. but you know... happy enough... "cause i could say i have my own experience... only thing that disappoints me... is that ... my F I R S T was never given J U S T I C E ...
=)

SHOUT OUT FOR MY LOVE


I was wrong when I entrusted you my heart.

I was wrong when I've fallen in love with you..

I was wrong when I thought you're honest.

I was wrong..and I guess,that's all it is....

I WAS WRONG..


..=(


BUT

I

hope

you'll

prove,

IN THE NEAR FUTURE...

that

I was wrong


to say.....I WAS WRONG...

Self_reliance


What is self-reliance? What is confidence? Do we need to know everything about something in order for us yo posses it? Do we need to have concrete definitions in order for us to execute?Partly YES, and the other part to make it completely true and a justifiable BIG YES is experience.
Confidence is powerful. And to be powerful is to trust yourself, to believe in what you think is true and right, and voicing out what runs through your head.Speak your mind. Your latent conviction for what is right for you will be true to the universe. Have a brave heart to express, to show off ,through that, you can be heard.
Believing in yourself is self-reliance. Having the guts is self reliance. Thinking the negative way is like having termites inside that slowly rot and eventually kill you from within. Why then despise yourself? We are equal. You can do whatever they can but not in the same way because you are special, WE... are special. no one does the way we do. You have power. TRUST and BELIEVE. It's energizing your muscles to move, lubricating your joints to jerk, and fueling the fire inside your heart to accomplish something.
TRUST is one of the keywords in understanding self- reliance. It's showing what you've got, being who you are and being TRUE. Why be like others? We are created unique with distinct features. We are blessed with GOD-GIVEN talents and strenghts. Can't you trust your GOD-GIVEN presents? Can't you believe in your CREATOR-GIVEN wisdom? These strengths and weaknesses were exclusively prepared for you and you alone.And those are subject to discovery and enhancement. Denial of your abilities simply shows that you do not appreciate what's in you.
Appreciation is another ingredient for self-trust. It uplifts your confidence. It magnifies your strenghts and minimizes your weaknesses. Learning to appreciate yourself and your worth, learning to inculcate to your mind that you are important and you are playing a very significant role in the society are of your great asset.
Positive self concept comes along with the word APPRECIATION. If you know and you think you can do it, you CAN do it. If you think you can't. then it speaks of reality, YOU CAN'T. It's a matter of attracting the positive energy.
As I read Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay on Self-reliance, I came to remember my conversation with a friend when were on the library's comfort room. I asked her "Rai, how do I look?," then she answered a short but worth pondering statement, " It's how you look at yourself". I realize then that seeing things you want them to be has a great contribution to What it really look like, thus heigthened your self concept.

HAIKU............... ko nih.. haha


Religion


expression of trust
true faith, committment and love
immeasurable




Guilt



unstoppable pain
rotting myself from within
as concience fights back




Unplanned


I said I love you
still I say I love you too
I love you it's true

What If...




What if . . .


... my head is in the position of my feet? Will my head have varicose veins?
...I get pregnant early?
...I fail in my Lit 131 class?
...I die now?
...I lost all my friends?
...I cry now? Will somebody comfort me? Will I commit suicide? Who will stop me? Who?
...What if I accidentally forget how to breathe? I burst out because of the pressure of being a teacher?.... imagine... it will only take one year and a half to become one...
What if I'm already a teacher? I'm teaching in a Japanese school with Japanese students and Japanese co teachers?? haha..
but What if I won't be employed after graduation?? What will I have for a living???


...What if I marry a drunkard? A 2-pack-of-cigarette per day smoker?...
.. What if my husband die before me??
....What if I lose control and make love with somebody in this early stage of my life? will I get pregnant?
..What if I stroll around the school having a very big belly with fetus inside?
... What if I marry someone who is unfaithful??... Why Am I thinking of these things?.. I'm just 18........!!
..What if I stop schooling? Will my life have a happy ending??
Will I have a better future?... How? In what way?? What will my family be??
... What if the person I love now doesn't really love me...?? What if I'm just imagining things to be true?
What if "I" only thinks of "us" and "he" thinks of only "him"?
What if he doesn't really care?...
The other way... What if I fail to give love back?? Will I be guilty??

What if when I go home I met an accident? Will somebody save me and rush me to the hospital?
What if I met a robber? a rapist? Will they kill me??



What if I am a prostitute? will I have many customers?
What if I make money with my Flesh? Will I generate more income rather than being a teacher?

What if I am a virgin no more? What If I'm a bitch? I go out with different guys every night and have sex with them relentlessly?...eeeeewww....
What if I enjoy having lots of boyfriends????

"what If I never knew... what if I never found 'you' "
Will my life be the same??
Will my heart still beat the it palpitate now???

What if I didn't came out from my mother's womb?? What if I wasn't conceived at all??? Will I see the beauty of the world??? Will the earth continue rotating and revolving without my presence??



What if I lost my sanity because of these what if's?
Where will I be now??



Where???...

LiFe Is BeaUtiFuL


The Summary


It is a story of struggle. The story of a youthful days of a child. A boy captured in between the cruelties and unfairness of life yet still his young mind perceived everything as a game. A mere game wit prizes in the end.
Guido, Dora, and Joshua were the main characters in the movie entitled "La Vita El Bella(Life is Beautiful)". The three of them resembles a happy family.Their story as a family started when Guido accidentally met Dora, a beautiful teacher. He fell in love with with the lovely Dora. And because of Guido's incomparable and unique charm, Dora fell in love with him too to the extent that she have left her fiance and ran away. Together, they formed a family . Dora bore a child and they named the baby Joshua.They lived a happy life not until one day. When all the Jews and Jewess were sent out of the country to be slaved, Guido and Joshua are of them.
The train, where Guido and Joshua were in, was about to go when Dora arrived and insisted to go too. She opt to suffer also what her family is to suffer. They were brought to the place. They were forced to work. Men and women were separated and so as the old ones. The aged people were liquidated and so as the young one's but thanks to Joshua's stubbornness in not taking a bath, he was able to survive. Joshua didn't understand what they were going through. He tried to ask his father of going home. To deny the truth and deprive Joshua of the experience the reality that they were slaves, Guido pretended that they were just playing a game and there were rules and there was prize in the end, a real big tank with a big gun.
In the midst of their suffering an opportunity of escaping come across their way. They grabbed it. Unfortunately, Guido died.
In the end Joshua was saved. Dora survived. They continue their life without Guido.
The Characters
Guido. A happy Jew who takes everything positively. He influenced others with his luck and jolliness. He is a person to look up to. He is really loving. He loves his family very much. He risks his life for the convenience of his wife and son. He lives his life the simple way. He thinks like a child but he really is a wise man.
Dora. A respected teacher, very simple yet very beautiful inside and out. She's a very charming lady, capturing the heart of Guido from with first glance. She is a hero. She's willing to suffer and die for her family. She has sacrificed her freedom.
Joshua. the only child of Dora and Guido, a very obedient son to his father only that the parents can't force him to take a bath.He is witty and very smart.
The Cinematography
The over all cinematography was excellent. Speaks of reality from lights to sounds to artists,. The scenes were realistic. The settings were simple but really portrayed what really should be shown off. The music, sound effects and lights were arranged very well which heigthened the intensity not every scene.
@@@@
Only one line sank in my mind after watching the film. It's "ther's a rainbow always after the rain" by south border.

The T'nalak Festival




The T'nalak Festival




Multi-colored "banderitas" hanging above the streets of City of Koronadal, attractive and beautiful huts standing along the Alunan Avenue, brightly-colored bulbs thst lights the dark night of the city, smiles and happy faces that make the atmosphere warm, and the greetings of the joyful people of South Cotabato made the
9th T'nalak festival happy and gay.
The festival seemed to showcase the expertise of the people in different fields. Talents were showcased. The bests among the bests were recognized and awarded.
It ws fun.It broght joy and laughters not only to the children of the province but also to the neighboring provinces. the events were entertaining. It satisfied the wants of the people in watching wonderful presentations from the drum corps. competition to the display of fireworks.
One of the most striking events in the Festival was the display of lovely fireworks.My eyes were amazed. Different colors and different shades of lights flashed before my very eyes.They were awesome. I was satisfied. The long wait was worth it.=)





...=(


Sadness
Dooms and darks of the world cover me. The shadows of unearthly fates flash before my eyes. My heart is so heavy that it can hardly pump yet it feels so empty. My eyes are wet and tired, deep and blank. My muscles are slightly shaking. They are weak and exhausted. my body is overworked, dog tired perhaps. My head is full of undefined thoughts. Paranoia. My lungs can hardly respire. I can hardly breathe. My lips can hardly speak because when they do, fluid form behind my eyes and starts to flow. I see the bright blue sky to be gray and getting grayer. The humid breeze gently touches my dry skin and slowly whispers to my ears the sound of silence. I feel the world's emptiness. The gloomy and cold outside sinks in and chills me to the bones. Next thing I notice, nobody is with me, no one. It is empty with smiles and laughters, empty of voices and hums. What is the vicinity then? Dark clouds and wet ground.


=)


Happiness


Nature, perhaps. I see the world to be sunny yet slightly windy. The king of light and heat is up. It is yellow and hot. The sky is blue, free from dark nimbus clouds. Grasses are bright green and flowers are really in bloom. The water is rushing to the shore excited to splash in rocks. The multi-colored butterflies are sipping the tasty nectars from blossom to blossom. I hear the birds singing a melodious tune, the sound of shallow river that runs through the valleys and plains, the music brought by the swaying leaves and dancing trunks of the trees as light a breeze blows in. These sounds tickles my eardrums. I smell the aroma of flowering plants that tingles my nostrils and the scent of the fresh air air and saline water of the sea. I feel the touch of the breeze blowing from the ocean and the soft and smooth petals of wild orchids that soothes my skin.
Sports, perhaps. It is winning the championship game, shooting the ball in the basket in the last second, making a home base and hitting the bull's eye.
Love, of course. When the girl says 'yes' to the suitor, when the husband never forgets the birthday of his wife, when the wife kisses her husband goodnight. It is so deep, too deep that I cannot fathom. It is everywhere. Discover it. It is a matter of seeing things not the way they are but the way you want it to be.