SA AKING MGA KAIBIGAN

to miss elegant...

-you're the very first friend i had in college. i could still remember the days, the hours we spent in my boarding house waiting for our next class. the sleeping time we shared..., the friendly competition we had in our General psychology subject... our studying together at the disselection room..haha.. i could almost draw tears everytime those memories would flash before my eyes. How did those moments end???
i really do not know.. we grew far from each other now.. i could almost say we're just mere acquaintances... but no... you are a friend...and forever be a friend.. i thank you for everything we've shared...
i'm sorry for my lapses..i'm sorry.. xin, i'm hoping to make up with you this comming year..


to goddess...
- you've been so good to me ... i appreciate how your concern reaches my heart.. they say you're indifferent..., but for me you're not... you are concerned...the problem is you blurt out words sometimes in an inappropriate manner...
i'm sorry. I walkedout yesterday,but i guess it was just right...
I was really hurt... I know, i have my responsibility. . . what i just want to hear from you upon asking if i could go ahead was just a statement that i need to stay. you need not to tell me sarcastically. . . i wwas really hurt...

i didn't know you're thinking "those things" about me... i felt it from your words...
i'm sorry to tell this.. but i guess you need to know that this wound you've caused me seem to heal in due time...not these days.

to sancha...
-you are really a sister to me.. you know how to discipline me the way that my feelings are not hurt and the way that i could understand things better. i thank you for everything...
words are not enough to show how i appreciate you... and my actions seem not to show mylove for you as a friend...
I'm sorry for my lapses.. i hope you wont grew tired guiding me in the direction of goodness and chastity... I was, i am and i will always be thankful to HIM of giving me a friend and a special person...

to knight...
-an ever deareast friend.. understands me,,, thankyou.

i know i've kept secrets on you and i really am secured 'till now that those beans i've poured on you won't spill....

i will forever treasure you as my friend.. i hope you'll keep me as yours the way i keep you...


to x-iniibig
-thankyou for letting me feel things i never wish to feel... you showed me that there are still honest people that exists.that there are people who changed for the people they love. i appreciate every moment we had since you've shifted in our course...and even before you did..hehe

to miss bouquet...
i appreciate your goodness to me. i really do. i hope you wont grew tired being my friend..
i say sorry for not letting you know the important things that has happened to me and is happening to me... i'l forever treasure you ji.. i've so blessed to have you amy friend..and keep being a blessing to persons you'll be meeting in the future.

to paradise..
to starbright
to madonna
to gorgeous...
tobe continued. . .

CARELESS WHISPERS

my wealth...

my strength...

my life...

these are the terms i considered the most accurate description of what my friends are...

they are always there...

a shoulder to cry on..

a clown to make me laugh...

an anti-drowse medicine that make me stay sane...

a large stone ready to knock me on my head to wake me up...

a sleeping pill when i need rest...

an embrace when i need comfort...

a hug when i need love...

a penny in my pocket when im hungry...

they are there to bear everything with me, on me and for me...

they are all i ever had and have...

yet still for the fact that they are my friends, the place they occupy in my heart is FRIENDSHIP...

i have longed for someone to fill the empty space inside this blood-pumping organ of mine..., my heart..

i came to meet someone ... someone i guess who's capable of filling up the empty space in me...

I started dating him just a month ago..

I felt every friend i have is against him...

i guess they're just right.. i have known him for just a short time..

i understand.. just imagine.. i kissed a stranger in front of the cinema screen.. a stranger i knew for just a week and a half .. ONLY.. ..hahaha.. sooo bad.

i should not feel choked..

I should not feel strangled... YET I DO..

their whisper of advices, whisper of concerns has different impact on my well-being..

I feel...

i feel so wrong.

their being too sensitive.. ahhhhhhhhhhh

i just can't tell them how i really feel..

i cant...

i do appreciate their parently love yet a part of my heart and a part of my mind revolt....

"Sometimes, I just can't tell anybody how i really fee, not because i don't know why,

not because i don't know my purpose,

not because I don't trust them,

but decause I can NEVER REALLY FIND the RIGHT WORDS to MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND... "

benefit of the doubt

'twas Saturday, the 7th of November.

an ordinary day I thought.

indeed, it was...

same old routine. school/seminar...

four o'clock in the afternoon we're about to leave the seminar when,. . . "I've got a feelin', that tonight's gonna be a good night" a friend of mine sang this line.

i laugh. . .and said, "really?. sige eh"

we exited because we have to prepare food for that night's activity.

it was about 8pm when we arrived at the venue of the activity that supposedly has started 6pm. I thought then, is this a good night?? hahaha... we're late...

the night ended and some of us went home but the most, planned to stay in a friend's house. just before we arrived there, another unfortunate event happened that caused everybody to panic, draw tears and to feel so unlucky.

Again i said... is this a good night??? haha confirmed a very GOOD night...='(

the dusk had come to and end and the dawn started breaking. everybody who had been in panic and worry started to feel tired. the chaos of their minds and emotions faded as the intensity of my heartbeat started to heighten.

i happen to notice, for that moment only, a fair man, not so tall, having a chubby face with a goatee who for in fact, has been in the company for that night. i happened to to look at him closely soon after our eyes met, seeing his eyebrows move the unusual way...

i ddn't know what had happened soon before i noticed, we're sitting on the same couch. as he massage my head with . . .ambot nu tawag sato...

soon after that night... we're closed... i cant take him off my mind..

i didnt know what i did or what he did.. i then found myself kissing him in front of the bigscreen... hahaha

it felt so wrong but i felt good enough to overthrow the wrongness i felt.. hahaha

i'm giving myself a favor...

i've been so empty for quite sometime, falling for girls, and falling for gays...

i've been so unfair with boys.. hahaha..

is it them to be blamed?? cause they can't blame me too...

now i'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt...

my life is too short to waste with disappointments and boubts..

=)