Am I prepared enough? When shall I be prepared?
My stay in college is getting shorter and shorter every passing day, which implies I'm learning more and more but what I feel is otherwise.
I envision myself in the future having at hand these experiences and "learnings" I've gained for 2 years in kindergarten, 6 years in elementary, 4 years in high school and 2 and a half years in college.I still can't say I'm ready to face the outside world, the world out of school.
I experienced stepping on the next stage of life before, when I enrolled and study for college but this anxiety I feel inside is entirely different. The "being uncomfortable" thought that almost haunt me every time I find myself alone is not like thinking of myself to be away from my family, but LOSING THEM., not just merely asking what course will i take up but HAVING A DECISION WHAT WILL I DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE., WHAT WILL I BECOME?
For how many years i stayed at school, I've come to ask, "HOW FAR HAVE I GONE?...and an answer sprung up my head with a company of realization..."I'VE GONE TOO NEAR".
a very long journey but only I HAVE GONE TOO NEAR from the starting point.
I'm getting nervous... to the extent that my tears would run down my cheeks and moisten my lips. I'm starting to think that I should have started doing my best from the time I enter college. I'm experiencing the feeling of regret, the feeling of dissatisfaction of what I have done with my life. I guess these thoughts are just but reminders for me that life is short and unpredictable, that life wants to lived in the full extent, that I should not wase everysingle of my life, that I should not waste every decision I may make...
A light of HOPE in disguise of miserable and anxios thoughts.. I then realized that I should be thankful that I have come to think of these though not early, at NOT TOO LATE ... I still have 2 YEARS AND A HALF TO PROVE MYSELF., Enough time to take another step, a step closer to my dream, to my aspirations., A step closer to the edge...
