benefit of the doubt

'twas Saturday, the 7th of November.

an ordinary day I thought.

indeed, it was...

same old routine. school/seminar...

four o'clock in the afternoon we're about to leave the seminar when,. . . "I've got a feelin', that tonight's gonna be a good night" a friend of mine sang this line.

i laugh. . .and said, "really?. sige eh"

we exited because we have to prepare food for that night's activity.

it was about 8pm when we arrived at the venue of the activity that supposedly has started 6pm. I thought then, is this a good night?? hahaha... we're late...

the night ended and some of us went home but the most, planned to stay in a friend's house. just before we arrived there, another unfortunate event happened that caused everybody to panic, draw tears and to feel so unlucky.

Again i said... is this a good night??? haha confirmed a very GOOD night...='(

the dusk had come to and end and the dawn started breaking. everybody who had been in panic and worry started to feel tired. the chaos of their minds and emotions faded as the intensity of my heartbeat started to heighten.

i happen to notice, for that moment only, a fair man, not so tall, having a chubby face with a goatee who for in fact, has been in the company for that night. i happened to to look at him closely soon after our eyes met, seeing his eyebrows move the unusual way...

i ddn't know what had happened soon before i noticed, we're sitting on the same couch. as he massage my head with . . .ambot nu tawag sato...

soon after that night... we're closed... i cant take him off my mind..

i didnt know what i did or what he did.. i then found myself kissing him in front of the bigscreen... hahaha

it felt so wrong but i felt good enough to overthrow the wrongness i felt.. hahaha

i'm giving myself a favor...

i've been so empty for quite sometime, falling for girls, and falling for gays...

i've been so unfair with boys.. hahaha..

is it them to be blamed?? cause they can't blame me too...

now i'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt...

my life is too short to waste with disappointments and boubts..

=)